Dave Deeks: From the Guillain-Barré Syndrome Support Group newsletter (Dave Deeks, Spring 1990)

I am a Christian. I believe that God is interested in us as individuals. These statements may already have put you off from reading further - but I hope not, because I am also a Guillain-Barré Syndrome sufferer. Perhaps you believe that God exists, but doubt the 'personal interest' bit. There are parts of the following account which I feel demonstrate God's concern for me. You may think them simply coincidence, or explained away by the unpredictability of G.B.S. That is up to you. All I know is that events happened as described.

My illness began early last April, immediately following a mild attack of German Measles. I first noticed 'pins and needles' in my fingers. Within two days my co-ordination was poor, and I had no leg reflexes. I was admitted to hospital. G.B.S. was diagnosed, and the next day I was transferred to Newcastle Royal Victoria Infirmary. By this time I was unable to walk. Within a further three days I was almost completely paralysed, and the pain in my hands was practically unbearable. Electrical tests confirmed the extent of the nerve damage by this time. I am a keyboard player, and it was suggested that it would be nine months or so before I would be able to play properly again - although it was thought that at some time earlier than this I could be able to use a computer to an extent (I work as a computer systems analyst).

During the next couple of days there were slight signs of improvement in the movement of my fingers, but my face then became paralysed - only my eyelids continuing to work, weakly. I have said that I believe God takes a personal interest in us as individuals. At this point in my illness I began to wonder for the first time whether I was right. Did He even exist after all? Had I imagined His presence all these years? It was the night of April 15th. I now know that the hospital staff were then assuming that I would very soon need to be transferred to intensive care, as previous experience of G.B.S. suggested that I would now develop breathing difficulties. Swallowing became difficult, and my tears and saliva dried up. In the early hours of the morning my tongue was carefully prised from the roof of my mouth by one of the night staff. I felt more despair than I had ever felt in my life. 'God, if you're there why are you ignoring me? - if you're going to ignore me, I'm going to ignore you' was the last desperate thought I remember as I finally drifted off to sleep.

The previous evening, my wife Lynda had left me a copy of 'Living Light' - which is a book of Bible readings for every day of the year, morning and evening. The first thing that I read when I woke in the morning was 'I spoke too hastily when I said 'The Lord has deserted me', for you listened to my plea and answered me'. It went on to refer to some of my symptoms - hoarse throat, swollen eyes - and then 'I pleaded with you, and you gave me my health again ..... in the morning there is joy'. Let's just say that the reading for April 16th could not have been more appropriate. But more was to come. God had made me a promise which He was about to fulfil. By 7am there was a noticeable improvement in my hands - I was actually able to hold Living Light as I read it, and could just begin to wiggle my toes.

I asked to be taken to the chapel service - and was duly wheeled along the corridor. The emotion of the sudden turn of events spilled over in that service -and I discovered that I now had my tears back again! There was a lot of interest in me for the rest of the day. Targets were made for the rest of my recovery - I was for instance to aim to walk to the door of my room (two or three steps) by the end of April. There was general surprise at the sudden reversal of my illness, and it was thought that I could now be in hospital for only a further six to eight weeks. That afternoon I was told by visitors that everyone at the Sunday morning church service had joined hands and prayed for me - I believe now that God's loving response to their prayers, and His promise through Living Light, continued to be answered in a remarkable way in the following days. Remember my target for walking, or the expected length of stay in hospital? - I walked all the way out to the hospital car park only eight days afterwards, returning home! Using a computer, and playing my keyboard? - on June 11th I sang and played a song at church which I had received whilst in hospital, and after that spent a week typing and sending 'thank you' letters to all who had been so supportive during my illness.

During September I began to return to work on a part-time basis, continuing to also fit in three visits per week to the physiotherapy gym. In August I bought a rowing machine, and by now (January) this has taken over completely from the physiotherapy sessions. I still have some minor paralysis of my face, which is very slowly improving - and I am told that this improvement could continue for two years or so. I have been left with a slight deafness in one ear, and 'graunching' noises (like water in it) - but just last week noticed a slight improvement in my hearing, when my hi-fi became less biased to one channel.

I had never been in a gym in my life prior to my illness, and the exercise which I now take is making me stronger than I was before. This has resulted in one or two amusing things happening - such as returning the dustbin to our garage PRIOR to the refuse people coming, because on lifting it I thought it had been emptied! I am also far less 'right handed' than I was.

If what I have had to say about my experiences as a Christian should interest you at all, please feel free to drop me a line. I'd love to hear from you, and may be able to share with you the greatest token of thanks that I could hope to pass on - an on-going relationship with God himself. There is nothing special about me, but I know that God loves us. There is no guarantee of course that by knowing God we are always protected from illness, or healed more quickly - we're well short of God when it comes to understanding the reason for things, although sometimes He does give us a glimpse of why He allows certain things to happen. Perhaps one reason why I contracted G.B.S. was so that I could write this article! But why hasn't He healed me completely yet? Only He knows.